The End Justifies the Means

To responsibly follow up on my progress re the pursuit of happiness, I issue this report during my lunch break at McCormick & Schmick’s in downtown Cincinnati. I took a bar stool, which is the only reasonable way to get a table for one. It’s cold and sunny outside, and it’s a great day to walk three blocks and eat some warm clam chowder and a tuna melt as I take some time to reflect on what’s going on around me. By that, I mean what’s happening in my career, since I don’t tend to occupy myself with much else.

“Don’t drown yourself in details. Look at the whole.” —Ferdinand Foch

Because I’m a perfectionist and have plenty of printing experience, occasionally a company will call me to do production design in-house. It’s good money, it pays by the hour, and it’s a great opportunity to interact with creative professionals and see what another agency (or corporate) culture is like. It’s also definitive, left-brained work that doesn’t have to involve my emotions, but that’s just the problem: it doesn’t involve my passion.

In the eyes of the industry, production is the bane and by-product of creativity. It is a career path for failed designers. People say what I’m currently doing for this agency is “just” production and immediately discount its worth. Contrarily, it’s a skill and a knowledge base I possess that most other designers don’t, and I do it in addition to creative work, to which it is connected. Wouldn’t that make it worth more? At any rate, it’s definitely rare to have both talents, and it’s a skill set that comes in quite handy. The other problem I have is being branded as a production artist, regardless of my efforts to prove otherwise. If that’s how people know me, then that’s what I am to them.

There is no track that teaches production; only graphic design. Those who don’t do so well with creative work will usually be able to find a production job somewhere. In graphic design programs, students are raised to believe they will transcend the ranks and quickly become creative directors and never have to sleep in the beds they make. I disagree with this format, and I think designers should a) be told they will start at the ground level, which often and should involve production, and b) be able to produce what they create; otherwise, how do they know what they’re creating? How can they confidently present a concept for how it’s going to look when it’s done? On the other end of the equation, if a designer does want to eventually become a creative director, after they’ve risen through the ranks, they must surrender design to management duties.

It’s easy to get into the conundrum of comfortable vs. outstanding behavior. There’s clearly plenty of dough to be made on a career track I’m not so passionate about. I happen to be good at this type of work, but it burns me out and I end up failing at it because I’ve lost interest. That alone is justification for not doing it. I do enjoy producing what I create, since it’s my creation to see through. What I would like to do is have the experience of collaborating on creative work with a group of designers whose work I admire. I also have a desire for certain types of design in my portfolio. I feel like I need to prove myself on some of these levels. There’s plenty of time, but it’s a young industry… Maybe my thirties lurking around the corner are starting to make me see that my days are numbered…

This particular agency I’m freelancing for wants to offer me a job doing both design and production. First of all, I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. But it seems like everyone is under the impression that freelance = unemployed. Maybe I’m just different, but the comfort and consistency of employment bores and scares me. I am way too restless to sit in one place for long. Second of all, there isn’t enough time to do both disciplines for an agency, so I’d be denying both them and myself of my creative aptitude.

Anyway, it makes no sense to take a job, considering how much it would cost for them to equate my hourly rate. Then if it began to resemble middle management in any way, shape or form, the price would have to go up yet again. The Mister and I have invested way too much in the biz to walk away from it for a career on someone else’s machine. I could have otherwise put all that money into a house by now if that’s where I was headed.

Thus concludes my ranting epistle.

~ by mw on January 28, 2008.