Back on Topic

Of trivial things that consume time and have no measurable value, I am compelled to keep the blog going. Back on the macro topic… The pursuit of happiness involves increasing consciousness of the human condition. It may be a common fallacy that to be happy, we have to overcome our weaknesses and appreciate our strengths, but alas, that’s way too utopian for humankind.

My goal is to face who I am, admit it, and love it in spite. At this point, I’m just going to say I’m not interested in changing my behavior; rather, I’d like to understand it first, then decide what to change in order to be happier. It helps to keep in mind that there is no right or wrong, which weeds out the tainted thoughts indoctrinated by our experiences throughout life. It’s a chore in itself to avoid feeling shame or guilt for our true feelings.

If the pursuit of happiness were a 12-step program, the first step would be identifying the problem. For example, I am selfish and self-indulged. To what degree is relative and depends entirely on who you ask. If I happen to know a lot of people who affect me as extremely self-indulged, then I might see myself as pretty humble. We see everyone around us as one extreme or another of a trait we recognize in ourselves. My mom likes to say that if you point your finger at someone, three more are pointing back at you.

Anyway, I am the type who enjoys devoting energy to self-actualization. I appreciate the tools mankind has come up with to understand ourselves better. I take online personality quizzes that may or may not be developed by professional psychiatrists. I took a Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, and even one of those online IQ tests. I read my horoscope. I did my star chart. All with a grain a of salt. Being the objective person I am, this type of stuff is entertaining at least, and revealing at best. You take what you want from it, ultimately. Life is full of little clues, if you just look for them. If I decide this behavior harms the people I love and yields negative effects, then I’ll focus on changing.

<digression>
If I could learn to play a new instrument, it would be the cello. It’s such a lonesome, soulful sound. It would be so surreal to have a sunlit atrium with stone tile in which to practice, for the acoustics and moody surroundings. My second choice would be the vibraphone for its über-mod, retro sound.
</digression>

~ by mwarner6 on March 31, 2008.